The maid of honor just puked.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
