Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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