I wish I could teleport
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
