Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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