oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
