That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
