Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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