Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
