you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
