Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
