You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
