So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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