I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
