He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
