I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
