Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
