Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
