It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
