ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
