Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I wear drunk well.
Randomize