Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
