like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
