She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
When are your genitals available?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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