We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
