Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
