saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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