is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
