I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
