I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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