I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
