Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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