just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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