I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
