i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
