Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
