no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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