I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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