I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
