We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
