So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
