I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
