And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Iโm getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
Thatโs two in three months. You really know how to live.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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