i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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