Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
