so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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