if you like me you must not know who I am
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
