Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
