I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
