the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
