Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Randomize
