too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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