so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
